Autumn leaves have begun to fall.
Late October London is ablaze in hues of orange and purple.
On my bench by the river I daydream that I am an adolescent
reptile escaped from Kafka’s Die Verwanlung, laid back basking in the sun.

The air is layered in heavy cologne but men do not  interest me now.  I am content to casually observe.  To my advantage I know all about them while they know so little about me.  Thinking of you against my wishes, dying a little,  dead all the sweet hope of dreams never realized,  I imagine my earthly body padded, sat beside yours on a grassy knoll
breathing  the scent of lilac and the mossy green River Delta.

In the dark I am nude but for a shadow across my torso.
You are so near and to distract my self from this burning desire
I let my thoughts linger among the lines of Roethke’s “In A Dark Time”.

Years pass and by chance we meet at the sad cafe. I sway in your arms like a fragile birch in an autumn tempest. The halo of my eyes glisten recalling how we gave away what we never really had. We hold each other knowing that love has died and we with it.

 

art by Fabian Perez

 

140 thoughts on “The Sad Cafe

  1. A sad cafe seems timeless in its expression of simultaneous mourning of a lost love and a time in life that cannot be regained except in dreams. I am reminded how in my own life such a loss took decades to fade below my waking visions. I renamed melancholy and called it zen. There was a quietness to suffering aloneness in cafe’s across cultures and lands. Strange scents, tastes, and noise became patterns that evoked a beautiful recollection against walls or especially out windows. It is not always a curse to outlive our memories and certainly the true art of living is in our suffering and sweet memories. Beautifully done Rene. The great classic poets could not do better than this.

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    1. Dan, I’m moved by your comment, you seem to always relate so well and so eloquently. May the sad cafe fade into the past. Thank you for the compliment , you are a great source of inspiration. Say hello to the elves.

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      1. Thank you Rene, you have my resonant frequency well tuned in your poetry. I think the memories of the cafes and vistas of the world have replaced any darkness of the past. I see only light most of the time. The Elves are ecstatic 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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          1. Me too Rene. My sentimentality runs long and deep. Being an INFJ male ensures the only life I can live is as a dark gothic steampunk vampire with an affinity for eastern dragons. It’s a strange life, but I like it that way. The beach was always my happy place. Even in winter it was comforting, well, except when a storm blew in and then I went to those special little places with regular customers that hung out waiting for something interesting to happen. After a few beers and barbecue everything is interesting.

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          2. When I was running willy nilly to and fro in the deserts of North Africa, I noticed I never got a sunburn but Florida cooked me like a blue tip crab every year. I never figured that out. I cannot imagine how you avoid getting burned. 🥵

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          3. You hail from a less sunny place with fair Celtic features that also was common among the Russ Vikings that conquered western Russia. I think the stars, moon, and tides were more their friend so long ago. Trees too, for their mystical powers and shade, of course. 👨🏻‍🎓

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    1. Thank you Diana. Not new and originally part of a collaboration so you could say its an excerpt whose missing words were more beautiful. I hope you are well, I was at your blog but to respond I must be at my PC. I don’t know if it’s WP or my phone! ❤️

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  2. Holly, nice prose. It reminded me of The Eagles’ song “The Sad Café.” Here is a stanza that accents your piece.

    “Oh it seemed like a holy place
    Protected by amazing grace
    And we would sing right out loud
    The things we could not say
    We thought we could change this world
    With words like “love” and “freedom”
    We were part of the lonely crowd
    Inside the Sad Café”

    Well done. Keith

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    1. That’s an Eagles song I haven’t heard Keith. I’ll have to find it. I’m really just a fan of two of their songs, Desperado and Life in the Fast Lane. Thank you for the wonderful comment !

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      1. Holly, it is a good song. One of their best albums was their last one released in 2007 – The Long Road out of Eden. The songs are impactful and have various influences. Joe Walsh’s guitar is allowed more freedom and the songs are longer than the average radio song. Keith

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        1. I’ll try to pull it up today and listen. I like the Eagles music. I’m not a collector of their recordings so I’m not really familiar with their albums. Thank
          You for bringing them around this morning!

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  3. Melancholy, but life deals many sad hands.
    This is very beautifully written, Holly. There is much to evoke the essence of very mellow memories.
    I especially adore your use of scent. For me, it’s the lilacs. They are one of my 2 fave flowers, lilacs and lilies of the valley.
    My grandmother had lilac arches over the sidewalk entrance to her home. I played for hours and days under that lilac canopy. It’s a bittersweet flood when I smell lilacs, and I embrace it.
    I’ve never read Roethe or Kafka. I’m sure if i had, this prose would mean even more to me! ❦❦

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    1. Dear Resa, certain fragrances, songs, etc, can invoke such nostalgia, I can relate Especially to flowers. This is actually my lone verses of a collaborated poem from some time back so basically an excerpt. It is fiction.

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      1. It’s wonderful fiction! I think many of your works could be/are fiction, but they strike chords of reality in me.

        I’m thrilled about last nights Boogapony. Just sent her in a mail!

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          1. Yes! It’s amazing. Gloria has just effed up Mariah. I’m almost caught up.

            So excited about the upcoming Boogapony post! Working on the poster tomorrow. Magic Carpet Tour / 2020

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          1. I was on a bit of a roll just after the new year, but I broke my ankle! But now that I’m sort of getting used to it, I’m putting all my ‘free’ time to good use! Thanks so much, Holly!

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  4. Had a thought.
    Music on Tuesday & Wednesday nights. My paints and pencils are ready.
    One sketch I will try for is a Boogapony Poniette (one of your back up dancers)
    The outfit will be in the colour scheme, but much more simple. (Then I’ll make it into 3 using my idiot’s graphics program)
    The thing is….. the hair. They CANNOT have long hair!
    I’m thinking the swing cut ( straight, chin length in the front cut shorter into the back), OR a bubble cut.
    Suggestions?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s go with the swing cut, a little feathery. Double ponytails are cute. What’s a bubble cut? Let me guess. The big round curls? Hmmm. Not digging that so much but it could work. Once the band gets going let the spirit move you ❤️

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  5. Your words, Holly, swept me away as the sadness within my own heart was felt. Powerful prose that immediately takes the reader to the place where love was lost. You are unbelievable!! I fell so deep within the words with this one!

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  6. I was lost completely when I was reading it. Felt like feeling each and every single word. The one who has lost a loved one and a time which isn’t possible to bring back, only a hopeless hope of seeing that one even for once, but only possible in the dream, can understand the depth of this beautifully-achingly-written prose!! It’s a kind of creation should be placed in the world of true literature, in a book and read by the lovers, broken hearts for centuries…. !!!

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          1. aaaaa, you called me NRB – that means ‘NotRayBradbury’ (which is true…BUT), I am Ray tho – so it should be RNB (Ray but NOTBradbury) 😜✌️
            cool with breaks, I may jump into your March-break with you as well haha I feel you need a company there*

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  7. Bonjour ou Bonsoir mon Ami, (ie)
    Vois-tu !
    Un commentaire c’est peu de choses
    Quelques virgules et quelques points
    Ce sont des mots qui sautent
    Afin de composer des phrases en minuscules commençant par une majuscule

    Alors j’y mets tout mon cœur pour que tu en déchiffres de la teneur
    Chaque mot chante quand j’écris ces mots
    Chaque point en devient un sourire
    Chaque virgule ,pour partager une émotion
    Dans mes points de suspension
    Je te fais valoir ma tendresse comme une note qui s’envole en musique
    Tout cela est pour toi

    Je te souhaite une excellente soirée ou journée
    Toujours agréable de venir sur ton blog voir tes nouveautées et surtout te saluer
    Gros bisous Amitié
    Bernard

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