In this heat I wonder if I am coherent. Without  you I feel a visceral  loneliness.   When we are together  I make small talk about  the weather and how the dog still barks when the summer  heat forces me to fling open the shutters  filling the room with night blooming jasmine or how  I am still  waiting  for the oil to dry on the painting that  I promised you. I am acutely aware of the momentum of  words and the intense desire for the feel of your hand  on my inner thigh. My own hands are  worn raw in search of common ground.   How can you trust me with your past, the woman in Berlin, that year in Turkey?  I am so afraid of implicit truth still I take all you give as though each confidence is not an invasion.
To be honest all I really want is to get drunk on your  impossible eyes and  draw maps across your belly.


Night Music




128 thoughts on “All I Really Want

  1. Really nice prose. I always thought that drawing contour maps on a naked body was fun and sensual. I am a geographer, but now all my cartography is digital. Body maps are a way back to the physical sense of geography. I’m not a fan of Santana, but that’s a nice song.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This prose is a rose bush. Complete with fat buds, burgeoning blooms, bravely falling petals and thorns of despair, it conveys the yearning, the fear and the wanting that are love’s own conundrum!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Unbelievable piece. Beautifully written. It’s something dangerous here. It’s like I feel I should tell you “stay away” but then I can’t because I need to read your gorgeous writing.
    Bravo, my dearest Rene. You made my day.
    Love and hugs to you sweetheart.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Another home run Rene. Oh, such longing, trepidation from knowing a little too much, and a powerful hunger of desire for closeness. John Mayall’s video and song was perfect accompaniment. You are teaching me a true art and I can’t wait to give it a try from the Yang side. My first true love in Africa loved to enjoy those magic sunsets near the north Savé River while drawing tribal signs on my back or chest for good luck. Of course, I gave her Nordic Runes and the sun, clouds, and verdant jungle treetops with roosting birds gave us brilliant backdrops for every drawing. Touch is one of the greatest healers we have at our fingertips and it’s rarity in our lives makes it all the more precious.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You always bring out those good memories Rene. I often wish people could see these things through my eyes. It’s good medicine and I think they would like it too. My head elves have had a lifetime of it.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, John Mayall is not common to most people’s experience. I have a feeling that your appreciation of Music is deeper than that of most people. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time that anyone has mentioned him.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. There are a number of artists who have covered this song but I believe the original was by Mayall. Don’t hold me to that. There are few musical genres that I don’t care for, thank you so much. Your lovely comment is appreciated!


  5. I love John Mayall (first concert I was with Mick was John Mayall and Etta James at the Montreal Jazz Fest)
    This prose came in and grabbed me. I have felt this. I still feel this. There is a danger but one that I must take.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Bonjour ou bonsoir mon Ami ,Amie HEART

    Notre amitié elle est importante pour moi
    Tes petits messages déposés sur mon blog
    C’est comme une flamme d’un feu de bois
    Qui dans mon cœur me met de la joie
    Cette amitié je la regarde comme le soleil ou une étoile qui brille dans le ciel
    Elle reste éternelle
    En attendant je te dis bonne journée ou belle soirée
    Bisous amicales

    Liked by 2 people

  7. ❤️❤️❤️
    As I recently said to you, I am prepping a post to thank bloggers and celebrate my 10,000 followers. You are one of the first poets I read here in Worpress. You and a few others inspired me to start writing poetry. (And mine was so terrible in the beginning. UGH. But you were always kind and encouraging.)

    I read this prose……..and all I can think is how does she do it? It is almost five years since I started reading you. You always keep it fresh. Inspiring.
    You truly are one of the best.


    1. Dear Drew, this is such a beautiful compliment, thank you so much , you are incredibly generous and kind. If anyone has been influenced it is me, you’re an amazing writer and superb poet. I can’t say enough to tell you how special you are, a brilliant writer and man, always inspiring and encouraging, your words heartwarming .
      Know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow and can’t wait to have
      you back here with flying colors.


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